Self Defense Isn’t a Check the Box Type Activity

I wanted to share some advice or perspective I give my college self-defense students that I think is relatable to anyone who has taken a self-defense or martial arts class. I have just started my spring semester of collegiate self-defense courses; we just did a round of FAST courses, and I just recently trained with someone I enjoy learning from in self-defense/gunfighting. I am glad to interact with so many people taking their safety seriously, but here is something everyone needs to remember: self- defense is a process….it isn’t a “take a class, check the box, and move on” type of thing. People treat it as though they were renewing their driver’s license or getting a checkup at the doctor (at least a checkup might be a semi- regular event, which is better than what we get). In my self-defense classes I use this following illustration. Please keep in mind that my numbers are completely arbitrary, so don’t fixate on them. But let us say that at the beginning of the course you have a 30% chance of defending yourself, and after the class that number goes to 55%. Still not great odds…but a heck of a lot better than where you came in at! Now, it is important to note that this number is never going to be 100%. As we say at the end of FAST class, we could all get shot by a 12- year-old in the parking lot while leaving. The process is not about invincibility. I think part of the problem with the check the box mentality is that there is a BIG difference between those two metaphorical numbers of 30 and 55%. A little goes a long way, and when people get a taste of such empowerment, they think they are set. But there are certainly degrees. Another analogy I use in my college courses is learning basketball. If none of them had dribbled a ball before, I don’t think they would have delusions of walking onto the varsity team at the end of the semester. But somehow in the realm of self-defense, that is exactly what people do… I am going to take a semester of self-defense and I will be good. I have checked the box. Now, if you have taken a FAST class or other self-defense course, or a handgun class, then kudos. I don’t mean to trivialize your previous efforts. There is an adage in the martial arts that a white belt is still higher rank than the person at home still on the couch. A well respected self-defense instructor, Tony Blauer, relates a relevant story: On an airplane he was talking to the woman next to him and what he did as a profession came up. He told her and she commented that she had always wanted to take a self-defense class. “No you haven’t.” he replied. As she was taken aback, he continued, “I think what you meant to say is that you hope you will never find yourself in a situation where you would have needed a self[1]defense class.” There was probably ample time for her to have taken one if she had truly wanted. Again, if you have taken some type of training, kudos to you for getting further along than most. But you still can’t just check the box. So the question becomes what are you going to do with that metaphorical 55%? I would hope that you find a way to continue to get that number higher. If nothing else, then go for that checkup occasionally. Other people will say that they are good with that 55% and do little else. That is obviously not my preference for you, but at least you are hopefully making that decision from a more informed position. If you want to take your chances with that percentage, ok, but recognize that is what is happening, and don’t think you are good because you put a checkmark on some magical box

. • Randy King shared the check the box mentality with me during a recent podcast, and I shared my basketball analogy with him.

Musings on The Matrix, Meta, and Martial Arts

            Over the holidays I was excited to watch the new installment of the Matrix franchise*.  I can certainly remember how groundbreaking the first movies were, and I must admit that as an ardent student of the martial arts, being able to download fighting styles nearly instantaneously seemed very appealing.       Coincidentally, the past few months have seen quite the increase in chatter about the meta verse, fueled by a push by some tech giants further into the field.  It is basically like the matrix, but just voluntarily.  And the at-the-moment-still-hypothetical question for both is “would people really choose or prefer a make believe life to reality?”  Just like the Matrix movie, the concept and discussion has bled over into the field of martial arts. 

            At the Kukkiwon masters course we recently attended, the discussion vacillated between how to reach the masses by becoming more digital and tech savvy, but then professing how martial arts should be part of the solution to kids being addicted to the screens—the screens we need to work harder to be on.  Clearly, finding a balance between the two worlds is a point of debate.

            Now certainly, technology can be used to improve performance in physical endeavors.  Covid forced us all to embrace zoom and other methodologies to accomplish or at least supplement many training objectives.  Online training modules have exploded.  VR boxing and shooting games are said to be quite realistic and perhaps can have a training effect, if you can avoid the nausea.  But there is a difference between using technology to become proficient in VR skills that translate into real world skills and becoming proficient solely in VR skills.  A boxing game might help with your reaction time, but things change when you actually feel the other guys’ punches.  At least in the Matrix, getting beaten to death in the fake world had real world implications.  

            I had a similar conversation a long time ago about the UFC games.  I have never been a gamer, and quite frankly, I never saw the point of spending that much time learning all the button options to make a pretend character fight, when you could spend the same amount of time getting proficient at the real thing!  But someone averse to actual physical exercise or getting hit themselves might see it differently.  Perhaps the more understandable aspect is the vicarious persona aspect….in these sporting games you get to become your heroes, the players you idolize.  You get do their moves.  In this regard, perhaps it is no different than kids acting out their favorite professional wrestler’s signature moves on their parents’ kings size bed. 

            But in the meta-verse, it isn’t mimicry of a person;  the mimicry is reality itself.  It is clear that you are not really the person in the video game.  But will those lines become more blurred in the meta-verse?  Will we get to the point where everyone believes or accepts the metaverse version?  Could we get to the point where social pecking order is established by meeting after school in a VR parking lot?  Where everyone races home to put on their headset to gather round and watch two people fight it out from their basements before their parents call them up for dinner?  It seems ludicrous, but if everyone accepts this version as legitimate, does it become the new standard of status?  How do the schools handle it with their zero tolerance policies?  Was it really fighting?

I must admit I am not one to be the first to jump onto technology trends…I can remember being skeptical of email in college.  I would like to think that people will ultimately reject what they know to be fake and an illusion and embrace what they know to be real, but when it comes to of images of one’s self, illusions can be quite powerful and addictive.  There are plenty of martial arts who have built a bit of an illusionary persona in this world.  You don’t need a VR world to create your own mythos, and some people gravitate to the martial arts for just that reason, but that is perhaps another rant.  

  But overall, I would like to think that martial arts are part of the antidote.  The martial arts offer you a chance to be honest about yourself through success and failure.  When you spar or roll, your weaknesses and short-comings are exposed.  The board either breaks or your technique fails.  There are no cheat codes.  Some of the most real relationships I have had in my life have been formed on the mats.  As always, I am biased, but I think the martial arts is the red pill that opens your eyes and gives you clarity about the world and what matters most in it.  But if I were given the chance, I would still download white crane Kungfu, and maybe rope dart 😊

*This isn’t about a review, but I did think they did an excellent job with Matrix Resurrections.